The first of the three was the speed-dating guy, and I swear I didn't realize he wasn't born in the US until that day. I had spoken to him for 3 full minutes the week earlier and I couldn't believe that I didn't get that. The next was this guy on one of the .coms that seriously seemed absolutely perfect on his profile. He was well-traveled, smart, and a vegan. I don't know what made me think that our personalities would just click, but let me tell you - they did not, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't wearing deoderant. He was totally socially incompetent - and at the end of the night, (when I was trying to get to my third date), he invited himself along to "meeting my friend out for a drink." Now, I'm not so stupid that I'd actually have my second date come to my third date, but I did get a friend to come out and meet me for a drink. She was miserable talking to this guy within seconds, and the rest of the time we were at the bar, all we were doing was making jokes about getting away.
I ended up making it to the third date too late. I didn't meet the guy, and I was not disappointed. I couldn't remember which guy he was anymore - was he the rock-climber I'd talked to from Poughkipsee, or the investment banker from Jersey City? Needless to say, if you're going to do the .com dates, don't drown in all the dates. Have fun with it, and the second you realize you're not, get out.
Here are some tips:
- Don't talk to too many guys at the same time. You won't be able to keep them straight, and you won't have enough focused time on any one guy. Then you'll continue to date each of them without ever getting anywhere (and you know that they'll all find other people before you because they'll be only dating one other girl.) S says that they can tell when a girl is dating many other men. I don't personally think they're that smart.
- Don't go on more than one date in one day. Even if you disperse them enough throughout one day, it's impossible to feel good at the next date because you're talking about the same things. I felt like a skipping CD.
- If you've been through the steps of online dating - winking ...then emailing... then talking on the phone, then do your very best to make sure that the first date is not just a drink at a bar or coffee, or (definitely) not a meal. The thing is, they are always going to feel like interviews, how ever long you "talk" in advance. And interviews may go well, but they don't feel like relationships for a while. Do something unique. Go for a walk in the park with your dogs, or do something artsy together. This way, you'll have things to talk about (and you're building an interesting history) right off the bat.
- Keep your expectations low. I mean, I did meet a guy that I became really good friends with through .com dating, but that's so rare, and believe me, that's one good story out of lots and lots --- I tried for a while. Realize that people think of themselves highly so their profiles don't necessarily reflect the truth. Realize that it's a really low possibility that you'll actually click with someone you met online the first date. But if you're OCD like us, it is definitely a way to get your mind off of other things, and to keep busy. I would recommend a .com date after you go out with someone you really like (especially if you're a woman). It'll get your mind off the guy you're really interested in, and it's always best not to sit around and wait by the phone!
-M
2 comments:
did you gals get married or what? steve hash and i (i think steve hash, i mean i don't really know the guy) are sad there aren't anymore dating stories here.
We're back!!! We've been off meditating. No weddings yet :)
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