To be direct or not be direct

A group of women sit around a table over scrumptious dinner and wine. They talk about their careers, their families, their relationships or lack thereof. At some point in the conversation one woman will inevitably ask, "What do I do?" and all the women give their opinions about what is probably going through her partner's mind, how she can resolve the situation, and what the possible outcomes may be.

Why can't we just let things be? For a woman in her 30's, she is ready to move things along for a variety of reasons, but the main one being - why wait? Will this man ever be ready? Women are generally impulsive when it comes to matters of the heart, and men are not. We convince ourselves the direct approach is the right one. Men will give us just enough so we hold on, when we really shouldn't.

A friend of mine told me to let things be and let my dating life evolve naturally. I am an action-oriented person, so this is difficult for me. I generally want to make things happen. I am impatient and impulsive (a VERY awful combination). But I am going to try this new approach. I don't quite know what it means, but I guess I'll let things happen naturally (isn't my impulsiveness natural?) on HIS end. It's going to be frustrating.

-M

Dating vs. Relationships

Over the past few months, I've blurred the line between dating and relationships. I must define both so that I am clear again. Dating is when you go out with someone and experience different things with them. Dating has no future or commitment, and can be romantic but need not be. A relationship, on the other hand, is a commitment that both parties (hopefully willingly) have decided to partake in. The parameters are clear, and future goals should be as well.

I realize that I truly enjoy dating. Yesterday a friend mentioned that she really wanted a relationship and I think, given all the disappointment I've experienced, I don't actually want or need a relationship right now, maybe ever. I see how often my friends get let down because their expectations are too high. I myself have let things "fade away" without thinking twice about it.

The bottom line is that when you like someone and want to be in a relationship and they don't, it sucks. But we all must recognize that we should only be in relationships where both parties are excited about the prospect. Timing has a lot to do with it, personalities are not the only factors involved.

So I will continue dating, and I will continue blogging. But I can't promise anything about relationships in my posts. Generally, can't promise anything about relationships period...

-M